Well, today is Halloween. If you didn’t know I’m going as Dwight Schrute from the American version of the Office (The counterpart of Garreth, I believe, in the UK version, if anyone if familiar with that opposed to the US version). Anyways, here are some cool pumpkin carvings I found on the interwebz:






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So Happy Halloween everybody!

~Guinea

Well, today it snowed. Not just snowflakes. Heavy snow. It stayed on the ground. It’s not even Halloween yet! By the way, I’m being Dwight Schrute from the Office for Halloween.

Pretty much everyone who owns a Wii knows Wii Sports, which comes bundled with the Wii in the U.S. Wii Sports was great at introducing people to the motion sensing, just as Wii Sports Resort now is to Wii Motion Plus.

Wii Motion Plus is a small cubelike object that you attach to the bottom of your Wii Remote (where the nunchuck goes).

It works very well in Wii Motion plus, though at times it does get a bit out of synch. Luckily, that’s easy to fix. Wii Motion Plus works only for games made for it, but you can keep it in all the time, it won’t change anything in a non-WMP game.
But the games not all about about Wii Motion Plus, it it worth buying, or are you better off just buying 2 Wii Motion Plus for ten bucks less than Wii Sports Resort and one Motion Plus cost. Find out in my review below (Just click more).

Wii Sports had 5 sports: Tennis , Baseball, Golf, Bowling and Boxing. Wii Sports is advertised as having 12, yet many sports have different options, some fairly different than the main attraction, some that are quite similar. However, Golf and bowling are exactly the same. Sure, they may benefit a bit from Wii Motion Plus, but, at least in my case, I’ve hardly played them, mainly because I’ve already played them on Wii Sports, and only small gimmicks are added.

Another cool thing is that Wii Sports Resort takes place on the Island “Wii Fit” took place on, and several sports will have you exploring around it, a cool feature that really makes air sports (which has the most notable use of the island) far better.

That said, it’s not like Wii Sports Resort doesn’t go without problems as a whole. (I’ll review the sports individually below, which means the bad ones won’t be mentioned in this section) In Wii Sports, you were maybe a pro at 2-3 sports. It’s less tough, yet just as fun in Wii Sports Resort. There;’s just one problem with pro. If you become a pro at dueling in the Swordplay sport, it’s not going to translate to other modes of swordplay, which annoyed me. Also, some sports can be about as shallow as a kiddie pool. So , without further ado, here is a review of all the sports:

SWORDPLAY: 9/10
Swordplay is one of the bigger modes of the game, with three fairly different options.
Duel has you battling opponents on a platform above water. The goal is the knock your opponents off the platform and into the water. The odd thing about it is it’s more fun against the computer than humans, probably because most people I know just shake the wii remote.
Speed Slice: Speed Slice is fun, and very original. The only problem is it doesn’t stay fun long enough to be worth becoming pro at.
Showdown: Showdown is awesome. While fighting off a crown of enemies, you can only take 3 hits. Shows what the next Zelda could be like with Wii Motion Plus.

Wakeboarding: 8/10 Wakeboarding only has one mode, with multiplayer, and three levels of difficulty. It involves you doing jumps and tricks while dodging objects. On paper it sounds boring, yet when playing it can be quite fun.
MY high score on beginner is 2,754. BEAT THAT!

Frisbee: 7/10: Frisbee is by far the hardest sports. It has 2 modes, both of which take lots of practice
FRISBEE DOG: Is the easiest of the two. It takes practice, but can become quite fun.
FRISBEE GOLF: Is quite hard, in my opinion. I haven’t tried it much, I admit, but it didn’t blow me away when I’ve been playing it.

Archery: 8/10: Archery, like wakeboarding, has one mode yet several levels of difficulty. Archery is good fun, and show’s another side of Wii Motion Plus: Precision Pointing.

Basketball: 7.999/10 I’m going a bit easy on this one, it was my family’s favorite. I think 7/7.5 is too low, but 8 is too high. The 3-point contest is good practice for shots, and can be fun, but 3-on-3 pickup contest is the real fun. It has hardly any depth, and you only use on side of the court, with very twisted rules, but it’s actually pretty fun.

Table Tennis: 8.5/10 Table Tennis is like a smaller, faster, harder version of Wii Sports Tennis. You can add spin now, which I love, and it’s harder from the start. The only realy problem is ball return or whatever it’s called blows, and there can only be 2 player maximum. One of the better sports, though.

Golf: 6.5/10 Almost the same as Wii Sports. No better, no worse. -1 point for lack of creativity.

Bowling: 7/10 Almost the same as Wii Sports. No better, no worse. -1 point for lack of creativity.

Power Cruising: 8/10 One would expect Nintendo to use the same controls as Mario Kart Wii, Excite Bots/Truck, and Wakeboarding for this option, but it’s controls are original and different, if not a bit frustrating. You hold the Wii Remote and Nunchuck in separate hand, and turn them at the same time to steer. Hold A/B to accelerate, and turn the WiiMote to use a speed boost. They can be a bit frustrating and a bit difficult to learn, but it works well once you get the hang of it.

Canoeing: 5/10 Canoeing (or Kayaking is 1 player mode) is boring. Speed challenge is really boring. Vs. is boring unless you have 4 motion plus’. 80$ total to have fun on this mini-game Wooo!!!!

Cycling: 8/10 Here come the screams. Cycling is no favorite of a lot of people. Single player is boring, but the Road Race multiplayer is actually really, really fun. With two people on can take a break by running totally out of energy, stopping, then getting all your stamina back. However, everything else on it is pretty dull.

Air Sports: 7/10 It really hurts rating Air Sports 7/10. Island Flyover may be my favorite mode. You fly around Wuhu Island (The place the game takes place on, and a really, really bad pun) looking for “i Points” These are places you will see in other minigames, and some original. It ties the whole game together, and gives it personality. It’s really fun, but is only 1 player, and I wish there wasn’t a timer. Skydiving is wholly mediocre. It’s fun, but I found it to be a sport I rarely played. It makes a great intro, however. However, dogfight sucks. It’s too hard to hit the other player, and really revolves around collecting balloons, not shooting down your opponent. Unless you and your opponent have played Island Flyover, it will not be a fair fight.

OVERALL: Wii Sports Resort is good fun. The good minigames make it worth buying. However, at times it feels like a tech demo for Wii Motion Plus, and it, for the most part, a trojan Horse(bunny) for Wii Motion Plus. That said, it highlights Wii Motion Plus really well, and it far better than Wii Sports.

GRAPHICS: 9/10: Although the Cartoonish Miis do not look impressive, this game is really surprising in that it’s actually a really, really good-looking game, perhaps one of the best on the Wii. Water effects look amazing, and Miis no longer look like paper cut-outs at times, as they did in Wii Sports.
Sounds: 7.5/10: Nothing special. Has some good music, though.
Gameplay: 8/10: Most games are pretty shallow, but many are quite fun.
OVERALL: 8/10.
~Guinea

Unfortunately, today is the last day of summer. Tomorrow I’ll have to go back to school. My summer was pretty good, and today was awesome. i slept until noon, then swam in a mud pit with Kodiak and a few more of my friends.

By the way, LEGOLESS YOU STILL OWE KODIAK SKITTLES!!
~Guineapig119

Sorry I haven’t posted since I got back. I have tons of pictures of Yellowstone, Grand Teton, the Badlands, and Custer State Park I can upload if people want. Anyways, there are 3 main things in this post.
1.) BEACH TIME! W00T! People who have read my blog for about a year or longer know every year I go to a beach house in North Carolina with my cousins for a week. I leave today, but we will be able to get on a computer easily.

2.) I year in 5 days!!On August 26, 2009 it will officially be 1 year since I quit posting Club Penguin updates (Or, went on a break then never posted updates again.)
That is why, on this day, August 21st, 2009, I officially declare my break OVER!! Now sure, some of you cynics may say “But Guinea, you haven’t been on Club Penguin in months, and show absolutely no interest in re-joining it.” That’s why, also on this day, August 21st, 2009,
I DECLARE THAT I QUIT POSTING ABOUT CLUB PENGUIN!!!

3.) The next issue is the surprises. I have two new posts almost done, a review of Wii Sports Resort, and randomness part 2. I also am planning to have tons of new, cool things on the sidebar before the end of September.

So anyways, that’s all
~Guinea

I’ll be out of town, going to Yellowstone National Park for the next week. After that, I have a few surprises.
~Guinea

For those of you who don’t know, Billy Mays, the screaming TV pitchman, died last Sunday, 1 week ago.. They say it was from a heart attack, but everyone knows Vince, the Sham-WOW! guy killed him. For those of you who don’t know, Vince stole the ideas behind two of Billy Mays’ products, including demos of them.

Luckily, the ghost of Billy Mays got revenge.

Anyways, RIP Billy Mays. At least he got revenge like he promised here:

DIE VINCE, DIE!!!
Anyways, Randomness Part 2 is coming. Originally, i was going to have more Billy Mays commercials, but I dedcided that, since his death, I will not make fun of his screaming anymore.
RIP Billy Mays.
~Guineapig119

FAWFUL RETURNS FALL 2009!!

“And this battle shall be the delicious mustard on that bread! The mustard of your doom!”

Actually, this post does have a point. Yesterday, Michael Jackson died. I’m not a huge fan, but he had some pretty good songs. Then, he went crazy and changed his skin color and lost his nose. Anyways, it’s kinda sad that he died, though.

EDIT 5/28/09: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOW BILLY MAYS IS DEAD!!!! WHY????!???!!!!!

EDIT 5/29/09: NOW JEFF GOLDBLUM IS DEAD!!! Oh wait, that’s just an internet prank. Yes, I am sure he fell 60 feet to his death

RIP BILLY MAYS

I’ve waited years. But finally, I will be able to play LoZ: Majora’s Mask. It was released in 2000, as a sequel to LoZ:Ocarina of Time (My favorite game of all time, by the way). It finished 3rd in the infamous “Most Wanted On VC” Nintendo Power Poll (Boy, I have no idea what number 1 is...) Now, six weeks after it’s realease on the European VC. Anyways, it was released as a celebratory 300th VC game. (And by the way, I am NOT complaining about this being released 6 weeks after the EU VC release. Don’t go all “Well we got Brawl months later” on me.)

Anyways, the basic plot outline is that Link is riding his horse, Epona, through mysterious woods, looking for (almost definitely) Navi, his guide in OoT, when he’s assaulted by the Skull Kid (who was Link’s friend at one point), wearing an odd mask. The Skull Kid steals the Ocarina of Time and flees from Link on Epona. Link chases the Skull Kid into Termina, a bit of a parallel world to Hyrule, where the Skull Kid has caused many things to go wrong, most notably causing the moon to crash down in 3 days, forcing Link to have to awaken 4 giants to stop it.
It just got it this morning, and haven’t gotten very far yet. I’ll post a review once I get at least halfway through.

But that’s not the only reason I’m happy. Nintendo recently announced a trilogy of the Metroid Prime games. The first two, originally released on the Gamecube, will have updated motion sensing controls. But that’s not even the best part. The game is only 49.99, the price of a normal Wii game. Find out more here: http://www.metroid.com/primetrilogy/

Well, that’s all. I’ll post a review of MM soon!
~Guinea

Yellllooooo
Time to write the most random post I’ve ever wrote…
But where to start…
So little to write, so much enthusiasm to write it…
Wait, scratch that. Reverse it.
Anyways, lets start with…
SCREAMING!!!!!

That’s right-IT’S ME BILLY MAYS!!

If you don’t know who this magnificent chump is, I pity you.
If you’ve ever watched any commercials on a crappy TV channel, you know him. He screams at you and sells cruddy products. He’s awesome.
So awesome, Chuck Norris once tried to roundhouse kick him. Before Chuck Norris could even get his foot off the ground, he was on his first easy payment of 24.99.
Anyways, time for me to show you some of his worst best commercials.
Let’s start with Might Putty. If Chuck Norris had actually succeeded in kicking B.M.(lolololololol look at Billy Mays’ initials-how mature of me for pointing this out), B.M would have sealed his wounds with Mighty Putty. Luckily, Chuck Norris failed, because people say mighty putty doesn’t work (Of course, I don’t own it )

Next up..hmm…let’s do Awesome Auger.
Awesome Auger wins the award for best possible malfunction. First time I watched the commercial, I got a picture in my head of it digging about 3 cm deep, while spaying dirt in the Awesome Augerer’s (lolololololol making up words) face. But wait-that;s not all-then, it malfunctions and brakes. Forever.

Last-but definitely not least-is the Big City Slider Station. TOP WITH PICKLES, ONIONS LETTUCE OR CHEESE, BIG CITY SLIDERS ARE SURE TO PLEASE!!! Seriously, this guy is awesome. But wait-try his Billy Burger in the included instruction booklet. It looks like someone crapped on a bun, then covered it with every topping ever used, making it incredibly lopsided.

Just remember-act now, and…..Just kidding. Only Billy Mays has the power to compel you to act now.
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Now…..let’s move on. to…. hmmm….
That’s it, I’ll ask my N64!!! What do you think, little N64??
Huh. It’s not talking. Maybe if I shove this Star Fox 64 cartridge into it, it’ll talk.
Hmm… still nothing. Fine! You leave me no choice but to flip this power switch!
STILL NO TALKING! Fine, I’ll start level 1….
Oh, whoops, it’s on mute, here, I’ll just turn it up, and..
IT TALKED!!!!
It’s sacred words of wisdom told me to…
“Do a barrel roll!”!!!!
That’s it!! I know what to talk about next!!
10 TO THE 21st POWER!!!
Naw, that zetta sucks.
I’ll ask my N64 for a clearer answer.
Again!?!? Oh crap, Slippy is about to talk MUTE!!! MUTE!!!
So I’ll just talk about….BARREL ROLLS!
And to think my N64 couldn’t think of that.. I had to!
Anyways, this picture here is lying:

It’s obviously a very clever, very good edit of this picture, which is telling the truth:

Barrel Roll=Awesome. Just ask Peppy Hare:
Just Ask Peppy!
Yup.
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So anyways, I’ll end this post of epic randomness with a picture of a jumping chicken.

Well, that’s all.
Wait, I need to do a shout-out.
Marc and Israel, if you’re reading this, do a barrel roll, you zetta sons of digits!!
~Guineapig119