Guinea’s Day After Thanksgiving Lose Weight Fast Guide

So, you ate a ton on Thanksgiving. Now, you wake up and discover you’re so fat you don’t even fit in your bed. Don’t worry, I’ve got several EASY solutions to help you lose that weight quickly. Just make sure you DON’T check with your doctor before using them!
This is…
GUINEA’S LOSE WEIGHT FAST GUIDE!!!
Solution 1: Eat 1 small meal a day. After you finish eating, throw it up. You will be skinny in no time *May cause starvation*
Solution 2: Eat nothing but paper. As much paper as you want. But only paper. *May cause the desire to be written upon, blowing away in wind or falling apart when touching water*
Solution 3: Bake all your normal meals, except make them with only raw food. With all the exercise you will get from running to the bathroom constantly, you’ll be skinny in no time! *May cause nausea, diarrhea, rabies, ringworm and/or blood loss.*
Solution 4: Everybody loves chocolate! Eat 1 cocoa bean a day ! *May cause Count-Choculitis, sweat may smell like chocolate, and/or the desire to be roasted, mixed with milk and sugar, then baked and put in a foil wrapper.*
Solution 5: Set out blank plates for every meal. After you get hungry enough, you will start to imagine food. Eat it. All the enjoyment of a meal, with no calories, fat or carbs.

OR,

You could buy GUINEAPIG119′S LOSE WIGHT FAST PILL*! FDA** approved and filled with anything that could help you lose weight fast***. It’s incredibly easy to use****, all you need to do is take 16 pills***** every day, and within a few days you will have lost tons of weight******! Available at any drug store that HASN’T received the latest weight loss pill recall*******! And look for our ad in “Health Threats Monthly” magazine********! ORDER THE GUINEAPIG119 LOSE WEIGHT FAST PILL TODAY!*********
Fine print (Please don’t read if you are considering buying the pill). If you don’t know how to understand it, forget itmatch up the asterisk to the matching # of asterisks below under the warnings..:
*=Contains poisons and diseases that are proven to cause you to lose weight, but is fatal 99% of the time! Hopefully you’re lucky!
**=Not actually the “Food and Drug Administration, just a guy named Franklin Don Archibald who we payed to call our pill safe!
***=May or may not cause fast weight loss, if any at all.
****=Not very easy. You will want to
*****=Give or take 5 or 6. WARNING: OVERDOSE OR UNDERDOSE COULD BE FATAL!
******=Either that or dead.
*******=May or may not be my pill. Ok, I’ll tell you. It’s my weight loss pill that was recalled.
********=Actually an article on a weight loss pill that kills almost all who take it, but the GUINEAPIG119 LOSE WEIGHT FAST PILL is mentioned several times in it, including the title. Just look for the article titled “Poisoned Pill: GUINEAPIG119 LOSE WEIGHT FAST PILL Is a Dangerous and Terrible Weight Loss Method That Has Killed All But One Who Took It.”.
*********=Order today, and your order will ship by October 21st, 2012.

ORDER TODAY!!

~Guinea

Happy Thanksgiving to my U.S. readers!

Happy Thanksgiving everybody! Eat tons and tons of food, and stay tuned for Guinea’s day after thanksgiving lose weight fast guide, coming tomorrow in 2010, most likely.

And remember to say what you’re thankful for:

Happy Halloween

Well, today is Halloween. If you didn’t know I’m going as Dwight Schrute from the American version of the Office (The counterpart of Garreth, I believe, in the UK version, if anyone if familiar with that opposed to the US version). Anyways, here are some cool pumpkin carvings I found on the interwebz:






-
So Happy Halloween everybody!

~Guinea

Snow!?!?

Well, today it snowed. Not just snowflakes. Heavy snow. It stayed on the ground. It’s not even Halloween yet! By the way, I’m being Dwight Schrute from the Office for Halloween.

Wii Sports Resort Review

Pretty much everyone who owns a Wii knows Wii Sports, which comes bundled with the Wii in the U.S. Wii Sports was great at introducing people to the motion sensing, just as Wii Sports Resort now is to Wii Motion Plus.

Wii Motion Plus is a small cubelike object that you attach to the bottom of your Wii Remote (where the nunchuck goes).

It works very well in Wii Motion plus, though at times it does get a bit out of synch. Luckily, that’s easy to fix. Wii Motion Plus works only for games made for it, but you can keep it in all the time, it won’t change anything in a non-WMP game.
But the games not all about about Wii Motion Plus, it it worth buying, or are you better off just buying 2 Wii Motion Plus for ten bucks less than Wii Sports Resort and one Motion Plus cost. Find out in my review below (Just click more).

Last day of summer.

Unfortunately, today is the last day of summer. Tomorrow I’ll have to go back to school. My summer was pretty good, and today was awesome. i slept until noon, then swam in a mud pit with Kodiak and a few more of my friends.

By the way, LEGOLESS YOU STILL OWE KODIAK SKITTLES!!
~Guineapig119

Going to the beach!

Sorry I haven’t posted since I got back. I have tons of pictures of Yellowstone, Grand Teton, the Badlands, and Custer State Park I can upload if people want. Anyways, there are 3 main things in this post.
1.) BEACH TIME! W00T! People who have read my blog for about a year or longer know every year I go to a beach house in North Carolina with my cousins for a week. I leave today, but we will be able to get on a computer easily.

2.) I year in 5 days!!On August 26, 2009 it will officially be 1 year since I quit posting Club Penguin updates (Or, went on a break then never posted updates again.)
That is why, on this day, August 21st, 2009, I officially declare my break OVER!! Now sure, some of you cynics may say “But Guinea, you haven’t been on Club Penguin in months, and show absolutely no interest in re-joining it.” That’s why, also on this day, August 21st, 2009,
I DECLARE THAT I QUIT POSTING ABOUT CLUB PENGUIN!!!

3.) The next issue is the surprises. I have two new posts almost done, a review of Wii Sports Resort, and randomness part 2. I also am planning to have tons of new, cool things on the sidebar before the end of September.

So anyways, that’s all
~Guinea

Out of town

I’ll be out of town, going to Yellowstone National Park for the next week. After that, I have a few surprises.
~Guinea

RIP Billy Mays

For those of you who don’t know, Billy Mays, the screaming TV pitchman, died last Sunday, 1 week ago.. They say it was from a heart attack, but everyone knows Vince, the Sham-WOW! guy killed him. For those of you who don’t know, Vince stole the ideas behind two of Billy Mays’ products, including demos of them.

Outta School and bored!!!

FAWFUL RETURNS FALL 2009!!

“And this battle shall be the delicious mustard on that bread! The mustard of your doom!”

Actually, this post does have a point. Yesterday, Michael Jackson died. I’m not a huge fan, but he had some pretty good songs. Then, he went crazy and changed his skin color and lost his nose. Anyways, it’s kinda sad that he died, though.

EDIT 5/28/09: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOW BILLY MAYS IS DEAD!!!! WHY????!???!!!!!

EDIT 5/29/09: NOW JEFF GOLDBLUM IS DEAD!!! Oh wait, that’s just an internet prank. Yes, I am sure he fell 60 feet to his death

RIP BILLY MAYS