And now for something completely different…
May 13, 2009
Yellllooooo
Time to write the most random post I’ve ever wrote…
But where to start…
So little to write, so much enthusiasm to write it…
Wait, scratch that. Reverse it.
Anyways, lets start with…
SCREAMING!!!!!
That’s right-IT’S ME BILLY MAYS!!
If you don’t know who this magnificent chump is, I pity you.
If you’ve ever watched any commercials on a crappy TV channel, you know him. He screams at you and sells cruddy products. He’s awesome.
So awesome, Chuck Norris once tried to roundhouse kick him. Before Chuck Norris could even get his foot off the ground, he was on his first easy payment of 24.99.
Anyways, time for me to show you some of his worst best commercials.
Let’s start with Might Putty. If Chuck Norris had actually succeeded in kicking B.M.(lolololololol look at Billy Mays’ initials-how mature of me for pointing this out), B.M would have sealed his wounds with Mighty Putty. Luckily, Chuck Norris failed, because people say mighty putty doesn’t work (Of course, I don’t own it 
)
Next up..hmm…let’s do Awesome Auger.
Awesome Auger wins the award for best possible malfunction. First time I watched the commercial, I got a picture in my head of it digging about 3 cm deep, while spaying dirt in the Awesome Augerer’s (lolololololol making up words) face. But wait-that;s not all-then, it malfunctions and brakes. Forever.
Last-but definitely not least-is the Big City Slider Station. TOP WITH PICKLES, ONIONS LETTUCE OR CHEESE, BIG CITY SLIDERS ARE SURE TO PLEASE!!! Seriously, this guy is awesome. But wait-try his Billy Burger in the included instruction booklet. It looks like someone crapped on a bun, then covered it with every topping ever used, making it incredibly lopsided.
Just remember-act now, and…..Just kidding. Only Billy Mays has the power to compel you to act now.
-
Now…..let’s move on. to…. hmmm….
That’s it, I’ll ask my N64!!! What do you think, little N64??
Huh. It’s not talking. Maybe if I shove this Star Fox 64 cartridge into it, it’ll talk.
Hmm… still nothing. Fine! You leave me no choice but to flip this power switch!
STILL NO TALKING! Fine, I’ll start level 1….
Oh, whoops, it’s on mute, here, I’ll just turn it up, and..
IT TALKED!!!!
It’s sacred words of wisdom told me to…
“Do a barrel roll!”!!!!
That’s it!! I know what to talk about next!!
10 TO THE 21st POWER!!!
Naw, that zetta sucks.
I’ll ask my N64 for a clearer answer.
Again!?!? Oh crap, Slippy is about to talk MUTE!!! MUTE!!!
So I’ll just talk about….BARREL ROLLS!
And to think my N64 couldn’t think of that.. I had to!
Anyways, this picture here is lying:
It’s obviously a very clever, very good edit of this picture, which is telling the truth:
Barrel Roll=Awesome. Just ask Peppy Hare:
Just Ask Peppy!
Yup.
-
So anyways, I’ll end this post of epic randomness with a picture of a jumping chicken.
Well, that’s all.
Wait, I need to do a shout-out.
Marc and Israel, if you’re reading this, do a barrel roll, you zetta sons of digits!!
~Guineapig119
Entry Filed under: GUINEAPIG119 RULES. Tags: Barrel roll, Billy Mays, Chuck Norris, Do a barrel roll!, Random.
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1.
009lvlnomed | May 14, 2009 at May 14, 2009
Awesome.
2.
woofmccol | May 14, 2009 at May 14, 2009
nooo, i thought it was kodiak, why, why did you do this to me.
find heem
3.
Peg | May 14, 2009 at May 14, 2009
Very strange post.
I have 2 questions…
(1) When will the “construction” be finished?
(2) WHY DIDN’T YOU POST FOR 4 WEEKS?!?
Guineapig119: Good word to decribe it…
Anyways, the answers to your questions:
1.) As soon as I finish all the pages I’m working on
2.) Sorry. I’ve been doing my school play, so I don’t get home until 6:30 (It ends at 6:15) I promise I’ll post a lot more over the summer.
4.
howchat1100 | May 21, 2009 at May 21, 2009
Hey Guinea, Im very sorry to say this but your loosing ALOT of your vewers. Your not responding to any of your friends that leave comments here, and your almost acting like you dont care about us. It was very fun when i first started visiting your site, but now…. Im sorry guinea just not so coming here anymore.
It was a good run,
*HOWCHAT*
Guineapig119: Sorry to hear you’re leaving, Howchat. I still care about my viewers, I’m just really, really, busy. Like I said above, I have Play Practice almost every night, and I have a lot of big projects I have to do for school. I promise I’ll get waaay better once the play is over (It’s on the last week of school, so I might as well say summer). Well, goodbye.
5.
woofmccol | May 23, 2009 at May 23, 2009
bye bye
get earthbound or mother 3 to pass time just do itt
Guineapig119: Hate to say it, but you just got pwn’d by NOA. I’ll spoil the post I’m currently writing and inform you that last monday, Majora’s Mask was posted as the 300th VC game.
6.
yuktyull | June 27, 2009 at June 27, 2009
It’s spelled “definitely”.
Guineapig119: That’s exactly how I spelled it :/