Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask Finally on Wii Virtual Console!!

I’ve waited years. But finally, I will be able to play LoZ: Majora’s Mask. It was released in 2000, as a sequel to LoZ:Ocarina of Time (My favorite game of all time, by the way). It finished 3rd in the infamous “Most Wanted On VC” Nintendo Power Poll (Boy, I have no idea what number 1 is...) Now, six weeks after it’s realease on the European VC. Anyways, it was released as a celebratory 300th VC game. (And by the way, I am NOT complaining about this being released 6 weeks after the EU VC release. Don’t go all “Well we got Brawl months later” on me.)

Anyways, the basic plot outline is that Link is riding his horse, Epona, through mysterious woods, looking for (almost definitely) Navi, his guide in OoT, when he’s assaulted by the Skull Kid (who was Link’s friend at one point), wearing an odd mask. The Skull Kid steals the Ocarina of Time and flees from Link on Epona. Link chases the Skull Kid into Termina, a bit of a parallel world to Hyrule, where the Skull Kid has caused many things to go wrong, most notably causing the moon to crash down in 3 days, forcing Link to have to awaken 4 giants to stop it.
It just got it this morning, and haven’t gotten very far yet. I’ll post a review once I get at least halfway through.

But that’s not the only reason I’m happy. Nintendo recently announced a trilogy of the Metroid Prime games. The first two, originally released on the Gamecube, will have updated motion sensing controls. But that’s not even the best part. The game is only 49.99, the price of a normal Wii game. Find out more here: http://www.metroid.com/primetrilogy/

Well, that’s all. I’ll post a review of MM soon!
~Guinea

And now for something completely different…

Yellllooooo
Time to write the most random post I’ve ever wrote…
But where to start…
So little to write, so much enthusiasm to write it…
Wait, scratch that. Reverse it.
Anyways, lets start with…
SCREAMING!!!!!

That’s right-IT’S ME BILLY MAYS!!

If you don’t know who this magnificent chump is, I pity you.
If you’ve ever watched any commercials on a crappy TV channel, you know him. He screams at you and sells cruddy products. He’s awesome.
So awesome, Chuck Norris once tried to roundhouse kick him. Before Chuck Norris could even get his foot off the ground, he was on his first easy payment of 24.99.
Anyways, time for me to show you some of his worst best commercials.
Let’s start with Might Putty. If Chuck Norris had actually succeeded in kicking B.M.(lolololololol look at Billy Mays’ initials-how mature of me for pointing this out), B.M would have sealed his wounds with Mighty Putty. Luckily, Chuck Norris failed, because people say mighty putty doesn’t work (Of course, I don’t own it )

Next up..hmm…let’s do Awesome Auger.
Awesome Auger wins the award for best possible malfunction. First time I watched the commercial, I got a picture in my head of it digging about 3 cm deep, while spaying dirt in the Awesome Augerer’s (lolololololol making up words) face. But wait-that;s not all-then, it malfunctions and brakes. Forever.

Last-but definitely not least-is the Big City Slider Station. TOP WITH PICKLES, ONIONS LETTUCE OR CHEESE, BIG CITY SLIDERS ARE SURE TO PLEASE!!! Seriously, this guy is awesome. But wait-try his Billy Burger in the included instruction booklet. It looks like someone crapped on a bun, then covered it with every topping ever used, making it incredibly lopsided.

Just remember-act now, and…..Just kidding. Only Billy Mays has the power to compel you to act now.
-
Now…..let’s move on. to…. hmmm….
That’s it, I’ll ask my N64!!! What do you think, little N64??
Huh. It’s not talking. Maybe if I shove this Star Fox 64 cartridge into it, it’ll talk.
Hmm… still nothing. Fine! You leave me no choice but to flip this power switch!
STILL NO TALKING! Fine, I’ll start level 1….
Oh, whoops, it’s on mute, here, I’ll just turn it up, and..
IT TALKED!!!!
It’s sacred words of wisdom told me to…
“Do a barrel roll!”!!!!
That’s it!! I know what to talk about next!!
10 TO THE 21st POWER!!!
Naw, that zetta sucks.
I’ll ask my N64 for a clearer answer.
Again!?!? Oh crap, Slippy is about to talk MUTE!!! MUTE!!!
So I’ll just talk about….BARREL ROLLS!
And to think my N64 couldn’t think of that.. I had to!
Anyways, this picture here is lying:

It’s obviously a very clever, very good edit of this picture, which is telling the truth:

Barrel Roll=Awesome. Just ask Peppy Hare:
Just Ask Peppy!
Yup.
-
So anyways, I’ll end this post of epic randomness with a picture of a jumping chicken.

Well, that’s all.
Wait, I need to do a shout-out.
Marc and Israel, if you’re reading this, do a barrel roll, you zetta sons of digits!!
~Guineapig119